Fried Rice

Alexa - The household spy - June 2019

I sat horrified as I watched the report on TV.
It was about “Alexa,” a computer-based personal voice assistant computer that wakes up when it hears the word “Alexa” when asked for. You can ask it questions and it will answer you with the information.
Husband-Head was totally enthralled with it, asking Alexa what time it was, the seven day forecast for our are and more.
“Alexa, pull my finger!” he ordered.
Alexa let out the most disgusting fart sound.
This, of course, sent Husband-Head into gales of laughter.
But the news report on TV said that Alexa didn’t just answer questions asked of her, she also recorded EVERYTHING that was said in your house, including conversations, phone calls and intimate moments.
“That’s an invasion of privacy,” I said to Husband-Head. “That’s just not right. It’s like Alexa is spying on us!”
The cops even use Alexa tapes to investigate crimes.
“Good thing we don’t do anything illegal in this house,” I said to Husband-Head. “It might be embarrassing, but it’s not against the law!”
Husband-Head then asked Alexa if she could do arm pit farts.
“I don’t know that,” Alexa replied.
Thank God.
“That’s it,” I told Husband Head.
And I pulled the plug on Alexa.
“You can take this out to the Man Cave and let her listen to you guys drinking beer and watching football,” I said. “But I will NOT have her spying on our house!”

Heidi Rice is editor and publisher of The Cow Pie Courier. Her column appears every month.