SILT, Colo. — A Silt junk yard and recycling facililty has now expanded what it will accept at its facility.
About Larry Pantsonfire
Silt recycling facility now accepting pets and ex-wives
Gossipers will now be locked up in Rifle
RIFLE, Colo. — The next time you feel the need to speak badly of another person, you might find yourself behind bars.
Robots to replace grocery store workers
RIFLE, Colo. — If your checker at City Market is acting like a robot — it’s because they are.
Sex recession taking place in New Castle
NEW CASTLE, Colo. — City council members had a serious discussion at a recent council meeting that there was a new emergency in the town. People were not having sex.
Customers can’t order in English at Rifle Taco Restaurant
RIFLE, Colo. — If you don’t speak Spanish, don’t plan on going to a certain Taco restaurant in Rifle.
Man attempts to get burrito, not money, from drive-through bank
RIFLE, Colo. — It may have looked like an Alpine Bank drive-through, but one local driver believed it was a Taco Bell. Police were summoned to the local restaurant after receiving a report that a man drove up to the drive-in window and attempted to order a burrito.
Drunk driver claims to be ‘Burger King’
RIFLE, Colo. — According to rumors, Burger King may soon go out of business here in town, but at least one local man now claims the name.
Glenwood bridge wreaks major havoc
GLENWOOD SPRINGS, Colo. — The London bridge isn’t the only thing falling down – so did the Grand Avenue bridge in Glenwood late last month.
New Castle employees to be microchipped to save human jobs
NEW CASTLE, Colo. — With all the impending talk of robots taking over human jobs, the town of New Castle has decided to take matters into its own hands.
Silt woman sleeps in stranger’s house after a night of drinking
SILT, Colo. — At least Goldilocks wasn’t drunk when she slept in a bed at the bear’s house.
Naked climber replaced by frogs
SILT, Colo. — Tired of hearing complaints about the naked butt climber at Silt’s roundabout, the town has decided to replace it with a new piece of artwork that they hope will satisfy everyone and stop all the bitching.
Is that the Loch Ness Monster in Rifle Gap?
RIFLE, Colo. — It could have been the beer or the hot sun, but numerous people reported seeing the Loch Ness Monster at Rifle Gap recently.
Topless women allowed in public places in Silt
SILT, Colo. — It’s a little cold now, but come this spring and summer, expect to see topless women roaming around the streets of Silt, showing their breasts in public places.
Kansas man robs bank to get away from wife
KANSAS CITY, Kan. — Some people will do anything to get rid of their spouse.
Robots could soon be delivering pizzas in Silt
Silt, Colo. — Not to be outdone by Rifle’s new coin-operated and robot-maneuvered car dealership down the road in Rifle, beginning this month, take-out pizza places and those kids with weekend jobs in Silt will need to get a little worried when robots begin taking over delivery of pizza to doorsteps of residents and businesses.