GLENWOOD SPRINGS, Colo — The Wild West Fermentation Fest this month on the upper deck of the Ninth and Cooper parking garage is expected to generate hundreds of drunk drivers, who will take up value parking spaces and crash into other people’s vehicles.
But the local police department and insurance companies say it will only be good for their businesses.
“Drink up!” one cop said. “The more DUI’s we get, the more we hit our quota and the more moolah for us!”
The insurance people agreed.
“The increased insurance premiums from people with drunk driving convictions will help us enormously,” an agent pointed out. “Cheers!”
Even the hospital will benefit.
“If people get really drunk and fall off the upper deck of the parking garage, our emergency room will be buzzing,” a doctor said. “Not that we want people to get hurt, but everyone knows how much money the hospital makes from the emergency room.”
The first Wild West Fermentation Fest expects to bring 20 craft beer breweries, five ciders and five distilleries to Glenwood Springs, which is scheduled to be held from 5-10 p.m. on Friday and noon to 10 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday.
Colorado West Mental Health is also expected to see an increase in patients.
Cost of the event is $20. Medical, legal and insurance expenses are not included.
