NEW CASTLE, Colo. — City council members had a serious discussion at a recent council meeting that there was a new emergency in the town.
People were not having sex.

Sex recession taking place in New Castle

NEW CASTLE, Colo. — City council members had a serious discussion at a recent council meeting that there was a new emergency in the town.
People were not having sex.
“It’s mainly the young people that are not boning enough,” one town councilor explained. “Here in New Castle, we pride ourselves on our highly sexual population — it’s even featured in our chamber visitor’s guide. So this is bad for our tourism and economy.”
The results are a study by some experts who surveyed people about their sexual frequency and what they considered to be “sex.”
“That’s kind of stupid,” the councilor said. “I think we all know what constitutes ‘sex.’”
Some have blamed the millennial generation for the abstinence, while others say it’s the baby boomers who are now older and don’t really care anymore.
Still others blame it on Trump.
“I think we need to encourage someone in town to open an Amsterdam-styled sex shop. This might provide the local folks a bit of encouragement and would surly improve local tourism.” the police chief told the council. “We’re the only regional town that doesn’t offer recreational marijuana, so we might as well have something of interest.”

Facebook