The holiday season is about to descend upon us, which means family members will soon gather for a festive meal….. and see how long before somebody starts to cry. Because let’s face it — somebody always starts to cry at family gatherings like this and it’s usually because somebody (or everybody) has had too much to drink.
If nobody cries at your family get-together, than you have REALLY big problems…
But the Thanksgiving celebration is always good one, as inevitably, “In vino veritas” (In wine, truth) takes over and the next thing you know you’re telling Aunt Martha or your mother-in-law what you really think of them, which of course will make them start to cry, or worse, hit you with a drumstick.
Then your husband or wife will get mad at your for making people cry, which will make you cry, which will start the grandchildren crying and pretty soon, the whole table is sobbing and the box of tissues is going around faster than the mashed potatoes and gravy. All of this even before one word of politics is discussed!
“This is a typical family Thanksgiving celebration,” said a spokeswoman from the Office of Family Affairs. “On rare occasions we see crying occur before a food fight ensues, but every so often the food fight starts first.”
So, the best solution to avoid these family mishaps is to hide the booze. But since that never works, a good a back-up plan is to have a box of tissues and a pair of safety goggles at each place setting (forget the cloth napkins.) A hidden bottle of anti-depressants in the medicine cabinet of the bathroom isn’t a bad idea, either…
